my failed experiment

you were a beautiful experiment
which failed miserably
the tube cracked under the pressure
of such stinging heat in chemicals stirred with belligerence
and my futile effort to save you, running my thumb against cracked glass,
worriedly watching over you, scrutinizing those last few drops
sadly, hoping for more than failed result
finding nothing but the common elements:
sentiments, some annoyance, and affliction
i kept the remaining pieces, affectionately, protectively
until one day i cut myself on them, accidentally
i realized they were never meant to mix
now i only use water.

Black Hole

I cannot explain your essence
I cannot explain the aura of your being.
you are only flesh and blood,
but somehow, your body is refracted back
as deep, abysmal mystery
Like the sun-tinted horizon
at the end of a Black Hole
you are soft and warming, but ultimately
unreachable
Unreachable.
That is your name.
That is the irony of your beauty,
so enthralling by nature, a true gem in the sky
only to find you as a pitch-black vacuum of light,
sucking away the agony from life
replacing it instead, returning those who enter,
with emptiness.
and an obliqueness of your mind.

Devil's Whore

It is like there is a world I cannot reach
The bridge is burnt.
The gate's slammed shut.
I am a fraud for even peering over the edge.
I belong to neither side
the unwanted child; a bastard's creation,
undeserving of true affection.
I stuff myself of scraps and pieces,
here and there.
Greedily devouring what others will throw,
I will take your love if you'll give it;
I am the devil's whore.
I am so confused.

can't sleep, but this made me feel better

maybe if i drink something hot
i can put myself to sleep
enwrap my body in the safety of the soothing, drowsy steam
and resist the urge to stain tobacco on my teeth.
no, instead please
guide me down, turn my dreams to your lipped kiss, mildly...
but what i hear is not my heart that's pounding
THAT'S MY HEAD.
my god, it's going to hammer me consciously to death!
what a slow, excruciating torture
jammed open from the sore muscles on my eyelids
the veins threaten to burst from their threads
to guarantee i'll be a dysfunctional mess,
early next morning
as soon as i stumble out of bed.
let me live, get me on meds...

an island in novato

Is it time to move on?
I cannot.
I am the solid stone jammed in the sand
The water rises above my head to wash away the wreckage,
alter my view, and bring new plans
But there you remain.
You are a breath of fresh air to a dying sea
You are an anchor luring down suicide's name.
I am your greatest fan.
Your loyal mapper; I believe in your location, a latitude of faith.
I stumbled upon you, an obscure, alien island
Those who discover your riches
sink to their deaths in your lands.
This is why I watch from afar, safe as I perceive it
Though secretly I long for your wrath,
floating on this pathetic raft
waiting, waiting
for my rescue at last...

A moon-bound vessel bound to take me far from you.