actually

actually, the more time i spend thinking about it, the more i can remember things about my parents and the way they interacted with me (or didn't) which might have caused me to be the way i am. it's weird 'cuz i haven't thought of these memories for years.

then again, it's also in the genes.

Rocky Horror Picture Show

Last Saturday was the night I'd been excited and nervous as hell for! It was weird ass but I loved it and the weird ass night/early morning that followed. Thanks Anthony, Alex, Cameron for taggin along. Damn, I've got a crush.

living with the past but still alive

Steve was the worst thing that ever happened to me. I hate him so much it keeps me awake at night.

Welp, happy to announce I just got a job at Bed Bath & Beyond, and it is by far the best paying and most clean (no greasy pizzas or sandwiches!) job I've ever had.

I will also be staying at DeAnza for a little longer, because I know I can do better.

birthdays and weres

Today is Anthony's big 18 bday! Had a small celebration at my house and Denny's in the early morn around 12-5am. "Surprise" birthday movie night my my house later today. Def looking forward to it.

Lately I've been reading Bitten by Kelley Armstrong. I used to have a thing for vampires but this book about werewolves has really got me going. It's pretty wicked. Some might say it's childish but if these myths have been around for so long there's something in it that's awe-striking. I saw a movie called Ginger Snaps, which I am changing my blog title to, back around freshman year or something about weres and it sparked something in me that this book is bringing back. Here's some pics from the movie that I'm gonna get for sure when I'm not broke anymore:


this is the most beautiful blood-soaked girl pic i've ever seen


ginger screaming


ginger and bridgette are sisters


gettin her belly peirced with a silver ring


weres are cool

summmmmmmer classes

Registered for summer classes yesterday at De Anza with Anthony. It took a while and then went out to lunch finished off with a heavenly dessert of chocolate cake and gelato. Here's my summer schedule:

Strength Dev~~MTWTh ~~11am-11:50am <~w/ Alex
Psych 1~~~~~~TWTh~~~~3pm-5:20pm <~w/ Anthony
His of Art ~~~~TWTh~~~~6pm-8:20pm



Maybe pick up a second job. Yup, looks like fun.


from Anthony's xanga, senior all night party orgy


me sitting on siyu

prom

Some pics from prom:

Guillermo

"
Este es Guillermo. El trabaja con yo en el Pizza Hut. El es mucho guapo!

Past Mistakes

My life has gone awry. Past mistakes are catching up to me. Sometimes I feel like crying. It's difficult. I need to let go, and I wish the best for him.

Anthony has spent the past 2 weeks getting me caught up and slightly more educated on STAR WARS so I will be prepared for the opening show of Episode III tomorrow, 9:10 AM showing. Of course we are losing sleep watching the all past Star Wars movies, but what the hell. I'm excited for it.

Looks like I'll be going to San Francisco State after all, as long as I pass this Arts 1a class. I'm looking forward to it. Some things I will hate to leave behind (all my friends!) and others...I desperately need to.


the bridge to my future city


Garbage concert

Whoaa definitely have a newfound respect for the band Garbage after last night's performance at The Warfield. It was crazy. We (Nick, Jon, Alex, Shauna, Anna, and I) started out 4 rows from the stage but after all the bursts of rocking out to Sherilyn Manson's voice and band, Anna, Jon and I ended up in the 2nd row! I was pretty damn close to the lead singer, Anna's hero. I love it best when I can jump to the pulse of the music and feel like one person with every one else's sweaty bodies surrounding me. It was exhausting but great.

Once again, we found ourselves in the city of San Francisco. This time we were able to visit San Francisco State University. I got great vibes from the campus; it was very chill and beautiful, and I really wanna go there now! I might just end up headin' up there this fall. The only downside would be leaving my friends and all the plans we had made...decisions decisions?

San Fran Disaster

Anna and I drove to San Francisco today. We beat most of the traffic and parked at Market St. to pick up Shauna. Paid the meter for 8 minutes. I had to pee so we went into the mall to find a restroom. We got back and Anna's car was GONE. Anna thought it was stolen, but it turned out it was just towed away. We ended up going to the SF Hall of Justice just to pay $171.75 for it!

So that took up most of our time in SF. It was kinda exciting, except for the money part, damnit. Later we ate at the Hard Rock Cafe. Well, I think this is a sign that I shouldn't go to San Francisco State. Still had fun today though.

GOT MY LICENSE!

Hot damn!!! I passed the driver's test today!!! Now I can drive myself around legally! I am very proud of myself.

Spent 2 days with Anna and Alex dyeing and doing stuff to my hair and going to the mall. It was very tiring but fun, and I kinda like my hair now despite the strange color. Saw Anthony's play and then off to Fresno for the weekend, hung out with my cousin Alice. Now I'm back, I got my license, and my hair is straight again. Here are some pics from Anna and Alex's hard work:

Mark or Break

Sometimes
I feel like throwing myself against the mirror
to break the image
and feel the glass shatter
Or by accident
slip and tumble down the stairs
as if my bones didn't matter
But so far
all I've done are the marks on my arm
So far
all I've done is be cheated by your charm
It's not that I enjoy the pain
but when my chest tugs at an incessant ache
Burning through, I must find an outlet for the hurt
or break.

Streetlight music

I'm blasting some Papa Roach and Unwritten Law on my stereo right now. Been hangin with Nick and Jon from Middle College this past week and man they have really opened my eyes to the world of music - for some sweet cheap prices. I've bought 3 cd's, all 6 bucks each at Streetlight and Rasputin record store. I love 'em. Listening to stuff helps my moods.

Hitch

I saw "Hitch" last night with Steve! It was really good and funny. Go watch it, if you wanna know how to get a date.

Well, I'm happy.

midnight cinema

Hey, went to see a midnight showing with Anna and Shauna yesterday. Before it started the staff went around and took pictures of people with this gnome if people wanted it. At first I thought that was pretty random, but it turned out to be something to do with the movie, "Amelie." I guess it was pretty good. It's about this girl who does little things to fix other people's lives, meanwhile she falls in love with a guy she's never spoken to and leaves little clues to let him know. It's kinda cute. It's also kinda stupid 'cuz it would never happen in real life. In real life people get hurt. Bad.


Anna is the "Blonde Lady" btw.

Back then

I wasn't planning on it, but Anna convinced me to go tonight to the Middle College Parent Info night for next year's juniors and seniors. Looking at all them writing their little essays, wanting to be in the position I am, I realized I really f*d up my time here at De Anza. Applying to Middle College back then, I was so idealistic, back before I ever got in my first relationship, before everything bad happened.

I'm going to make what I can of my life now. But I think I'm going a little crazy.

Pick up the pieces.

SNL

Props to Anthony in SNL tonight! What I saw of it was a good show. Sorry I missed your acts...

Went to Outback with Steve yesterday. Yum.

Not feeling great right now, gotta do some essays. Or I think I'll sleep.

a raise

Yey! I got a 21 cent raise! I now make $7.21 per hour. I WAS a little disappointed that it wasn't even a whole quarter more, but like my U.S Gov/Econ teacher said after the 2004 election O and L turnouts, "I don't complain about more money, I only complain about LESS." So yea, I'll take my 21 cents more thanks.

The ski trip was great. Yea, it didn't go exactly as planned, and I did come back limping with a few bruises, but skiing was so fun!!! If anyone is planning another ski trip, call me.

college update

I have been accepted into San Jose State (well, who hasn't?) and Cal State LA.

Happy, but I really want San Francisco State...and second choicedly San Diego State.

Anyways, going skiing with the Mika, Jess, and Elsa this weekend! Mika called me last night and was like, "How much do you know about the skiing trip? Well, we're leaving Saturday morning at 4 am." At first I didn't really want to go on such last minute...but this IS the last time I'll ever be able to go SKIING with my high school girls before we all split up at college.

I was right, btw, my schedule does suck. So much freakin work! Plus, lotsa make-up to do and hopefully I can turn my last quarter grades around.


Papa Roach, "Getting Away With Murder"