what?!?!?

i'm so confused. last night i went to a party at guillermo's and had my first weed 'baptism'. i don't think i got that high but i did feel the world get very light. something guillermo said made me think. i'm really just searching for understanding, like everyone else in this messed up world.

i was still a bit lightheaded at work but i felt okay. god this is so much easier than alcohol! then gradually as the day progressed i crashed, and i got really tired, couldn't think, could barely function at the register. it didn't help that the system on my register also crashed in the middle of a transaction, and somehow i always stumble my words or get confused and sound like a freakin idiot in front of my managers. DAMMNIT!!! i hate looking stupid.

anyways now i'm pretty low, and i really just want to go hang out with anthony and watch 'skeleton key' and laugh and be okay and forget everything for awhile. cuz i do find understanding in anthony, and maybe for a bit w/ guillermo.