Swimming through the universe, one light-year at a time.

Swimming through the universe, one light-year at a time.
NCG 4631 "The Whale Galaxy"

Wednesday, August 10, 2005

depression is rage turned inwards

popular quote Freud, and i don't agree with everything he thought but this he nailed right on. now i'm not saying i'm Depressed but i can significantly identify with this, especially lately. i don't know what it is but i just feel this antsy need to escape from my stupid, boring, boring ass self or from this uneventful life i'm leading. i hate myself sometimes. i hate being plain and shy and inarticulate, uncreative, unsocial, unable to make people love me. i know this sounds trite, but i want to be someone else. no, i just want to be someone. someone with personality.

2 nights ago i ran up to Hunter's Point with Anthony. i'm so out of shape. my temples were pounding like hell by the time i got up there. but the view was beautiful. anthony pointed out the Golden Gate from up there to our left. it looked so close. we ate Doritos and drank Arizona ice tea and i took some pictures of anthony. it was a lonely feeling being up there, but not. at least i have anthony, one close friend i was able to keep throughout high school's many changes. and yes, alex deserves some credit for this year too.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

It was Sigmund Freud who said that. I have been angry with/at myself for a long time now and have been dealing with depression for about 3-4 years: perhaps there's some connetion. I was just watching MASH on TV and heard the character Sidney who plays a shrink on the show use this quote and I came to the net to see what I could find.