Swimming through the universe, one light-year at a time.

Swimming through the universe, one light-year at a time.
NCG 4631 "The Whale Galaxy"

Sunday, May 31, 2009


I write now not because I have a specific subject in mind, but because I haven't expressed myself outwardly in a long time and feel a great knot has developed within. I am entangled in my emotions and the situations around me and find it hard see them from the calm, distant perspective of my psyche.

My current grades leave something to be desired, but I am not worried about them as I know the way I approach my studies are about to change drastically. I am, however, concerned about my social life and how it has and will continue to be affected by these obligations. I place my friends very high on my list of priorities, but am bothered by how very few seem to know or care just how much time I have to put into school. Not only is it a difficult subject matter by nature, but for someone like me who is not quantitatively inclined, it can be excruciatingly challenging and time-consuming. And this is not even including time taken away by work. I only ask that they understand and allow me my space during demanding days of the week. I am exhausted by my own inability to balance the various areas of my life.

I am angry because I have been damaged for a long time, and while some pain is necessary for character, I feel I was ruptured again at a point where I was in the process and perhaps even the completion of healing. I am angry that I let a stranger from my past be granted forgiveness only to have my trust shattered once again, and that this time I must take responsibility for my own demise. I am angry that I let the actions and misfortunes of stupid, inconsiderate individuals speak for those who would actually care and prevent me from seeing myself as worthy of such affection, and that I am psychologically bound by these bad experiences. I am also angry that those who think they are doing me a favor by offering me romance either already have or will only prove to do more to add to my anguish, and they cannot see what I really need more is their friendship. I am angry that I am so hurt, that I have given up so much, but I still have yet, or am emotionally incapable of accepting a genuine hand.

Wednesday, May 06, 2009


But I was weary during the month of May.
And though the coming of summer
spread light by the promise of change,
Those dead flames contained
a harrowing quality. And the memory of thee
however far, still haunting.
So when I heard those four walls call,
almost deafening in their song:
harping, harping
grating upon my soul. I know
much of what I'd thought been freed,
was, in fact, still enclosed.
I wasn't afraid to face the old
I was afraid the old would resurface
within the new.

Monday, May 04, 2009


Though it has sustained me for quite some time, I am retiring "Life From the Lonely Planet" as the title of this blog, not only for our recent, exciting and increasingly numerous discoveries of exo-planets, nor for the fact that I find more and more wonderous things about this planet through my study of science, but that I honestly no longer feel alone in this world. I don't know how I ever did. For with maturity comes a more keen awareness of those around me the and the effect my existence has on the people I care about, and vice versa. If, in the end, all we have are ourselves, and the final event of our lives is a solitary one, I see no reason to be or feel this way during the course of my life.

A better explication of the new blog title, however, will have to slowly reveal itself through future posts.