Swimming through the universe, one light-year at a time.

Swimming through the universe, one light-year at a time.
NCG 4631 "The Whale Galaxy"

Friday, September 24, 2010

Liver Therapy

I've laid off the booze for 2 nights in a row and sleep has been pure agony. Sometimes I feel as if there is a heavy, metal plate on my chest, constricting my breathing and crushing me down. My head is filled with furious and painful thoughts. My heart is in horrible shape, and sleep has been sporadic. But when I wake in the morning I feel a little better, a little more confident that I can get through this, and that one day the torment will inevitably end.

This is the repercussion of not drinking myself to sleep - a whole lot healthier, and definitely a lot harder. My ex has finally left me alone. Funny I thought breaking up and healing would be simple, of course he had to persistently stay in contact with me for another 3 weeks and make that impossible. I guess we all want to know that other people care, that the time we had with them meant something. And although he has finally let me go, one thing that would secretly ease the pain is if he gave me some sign of concern like he always did, as I would always respond affectionately, and we would reconcile. That always did the trick, killed the anger, at least temporarily.

But now I am decidedly alone, and wherever I am, out with other people, in class or work, I feel a sharp, singular pain which I and I alone am aware of. Again, luckily, I have my schoolwork cut out for me until November, where I can bury myself and the aching. I have many terrific concerts to see, hobbies to undertake, and friends to lift my mood the way I deserve.

1 comment:

Emjeez said...

Well it seems like u one of the few ppl who actually write about life in these blogs, most of the time u get ppl who write about how wonderful their world is and i bet its only a fairytale. And they living it through blogs...... Why don't u just drink less alcohol and drink more water that's also a liver therapy, a less painful one.... quitting booze completely can be really boring.. otherwise good luck in torturing urslf.......